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«Ніхто не може викликати у вас почуття власної неповноцінності без вашої ...»
You are reading a translation of this question from the original language: Ukrainian
Question by: Yuly955 Age: 30

My boyfriend has obsessive-compulsive disorder

Good evening, I need help. My boyfriend has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). He experiences severe stress and anxiety, as well as intrusive thoughts. Sometimes, part of his face—and occasionally his body—goes numb. Right now, it’s just his face.

This started because he can’t tolerate the smell of marijuana. He lives in the Netherlands, where smoking is legal, but when he smells it, he feels extreme stress and loses control of his emotions.

Please help me with some life hacks to support him. I’m in Ukraine right now and can’t physically comfort him—even just hugging or calming him down. I really need your advice and help.
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Psychologists’ answers

Viktoriia Nosenko — psychologist
Viktoriia Nosenko psychologist
Київ ·
Hello. The most important thing right now is for him to feel that he is not alone in this state, even if you are far away.

When anxiety overwhelms him, don’t try to convince him that everything is fine. Just stay on the phone with him, speak calmly, gently remind him to breathe slowly, drink some water, or focus on something around him. If he smells marijuana, suggest he move to a place where it isn’t present.

You can say to him: "My love, I know how hard this is for you. You don’t need to solve or control anything right now. Let’s just stay connected until you feel better."

Once he calms down, discuss how to make his daily life more comfortable and consider finding a psychologist who specializes in OCD.

If facial numbness appears suddenly or doesn’t go away, it’s better to seek medical help immediately rather than attribute it to stress.

Your support already means a lot. You don’t need to find the perfect words. Sometimes, simply being there and letting the person feel loved, even in the hardest moments, is enough.
Question author’s reply ·
Thank you very much for your response. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing, but he can’t focus on anything because of intrusive thoughts. My presence and conversations don’t seem to help—only time can ease his anxiety a little by the next day.
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